Iron Chef #12 - Squid Battle

If you talk the talk, you must rock the wok.

Challenger Wang Weiping vs Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi
Iron Chef 1994 Episode 2 - Overall episode #012 - January 16th, 1994

Our story begins, like so many others, in pre-handover Hong Kong with Jackie Chan.

Sadly neither Chris Tucker nor Andy Lau are along for this ride. Instead meet Chef Wang Weiping. What he lacks in loud cultural jokes and prop fighting, he more than makes up for as a wok star fire mage.

Chef Wang Weiping’s list of notable customers include the aforementioned Jackie Chan, in addition to foreign dignitaries and Bruce Lee. Today Chef Weiping will face his toughest foe, the Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi.
We last saw Iron Chef Chen Kenichi about six-months ago in the 1993 Octopus Battle.
Allegedly….
I believe the Chairman had all the tapes destroyed after the Iron Chef was defeated, a first for the series. This time, the Iron Chef is faced with two more tentacles and a Chinese challenger. I can't say it is going to get any easier for him. If the Iron Chef loses this battle, the Chairman will make his next challenge a jellyfish battle against Kenichi's dad (the legendary Chef Chen Kenmin).
Let's catch up with Iron Chef Kenichi and see if he's picked up any new tricks during his sabbatical.

Meet the Challenger:

Wang Weiping

Born in Guandong in 1949 (with a smile already on his face), Chef Weiping performed his first one-hand wok toss as an infant. At age 16, he cooked in Cuiyuan (Emerald Garden) Cantonese restaurant in Hong Kong. He quickly made a name for himself, handling hot coals with his bare hands and testing oil temperature with his toes, becoming head chef at 23.
At the Emerald Garden, Chef Weiping cooked for Bruce Lee who immediately arm-wrestled Chef Weiping and lost, suffering second-degree contact burns in the process. It wasn't until Chef Weiping defeated Jackie Chan with a timely Ifrit summon that he was allowed to open the Tokyo branch of the Emerald Garden at age 28.
Chef Weiping has been the Head Chef and resident Fire God of Nagae Sake House in Nerima, Tokyo since 1990. He is known for his mastery of the flame; delivering wok hei to his ingredients and immolation to his enemies.

Challenger Weiping’s Cut-Scenes:

Wok star. That 16-inch carbon steel wok weighs 5.3 lbs without any food in it (and is held from the edge, rather than the center of gravity). This takes immense strength and he makes it look easy.

Igniting his jet engine wok burner. This will empty a 20-pound propane tank in one dinner service. Does Kitchen Stadium have enough BTU’s to meet the challenger’s needs? (No. No it does not).

….and even more wok action. It would’ve been nice to see some of his completed dishes like other challengers. It’s like trying to determine if an athlete is a good basketball player by only watching a slam dunk contest.

Pre-Battle Interview:

“"Confidence comes from having a healthy body, speed, and a lot of firepower."
*snaps fingers and a flame ignites from his hand*

Showdown:

Challenger Weiping is grinning ear-to-ear as he challenges Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi. Chef Weiping seems eager to cook for an idol, rather than playing up the confrontation. He's as happy as we are to see the Iron Chef back in action after a prolonged absence.

Tale of the Tape:

Challenger Wang Weiping vs Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi!

The Chairman’s Fit:

Speaking of the Chairman's fit, I'm glad you asked

Today the Chairman is a board game. You can start at either end of him and roll dice to advance. The decision really says more about you than him.

The Reveal:

The Chairman destroys the audio driver's compressors and his own vocal chords as he screams "Ika!!!!!!" with delight. It was so startling a sound that Challenger Weiping stopped grinning. Iron Chef Kenichi is already in deep thought about why he agreed to do 17 episodes this year.
These “squid” don't look like squid, but we won't know for sure until the butchery begins.

The Chairman’s Wisdom:

"Eat octopus legs. Eat squid body."

Truth. Eat the meaty parts of meaty things.

The Chairman gives us a montage while we ponder his wisdom.
Fishing boats in the bay. Legendary cephalod battle - Squid vs Octopus. Blanched scored squid. A kraken.
Profound

The Chairman also gives us a sneak peak at the first ten minutes of this battle. Both Chefs will be delicately and precisely scoring squid mantles. Therapeutic, unless you are a squid.

Allez! Cuisine!:

This is already a joy. The wide-eyed challenger and the Iron Chef exchange a real handshake, followed by the Iron Chef offering a guiding hand. The body language is master and apprentice. It should be noted that Iron Chef Kenichi is 7-years YOUNGER than Challenger Weiping.

In the Booth:

Play-by-Play Kenji Fukui (right) and Color Commentator Dr. Yukio Hattori (left).

Fukui: Doc, it may not be Giant Squid, but this will be a clash of titans, nonetheless!
Doc: Ammonium chloride in giant squid makes it unappetizing for human consumption.
Fukui: You're no fun.

The Battle:

The Iron Chef version of the egg-on-a-spoon race.

The challenger makes quick work of these large mantled squid, deftly removing the ink sac with his biggest knife. Perhaps an indication he plans to utilize squid ink in a dish. Spoiler alert: He does not.

Iron Chef Kenichi instead uses a smaller knife to more delicately skin these unusually girthy squid, working much slower.

These unusually girthy squid are not squid at all! That's a cuttlefish, as evidenced by the "bone" rather than a "quill." This is a stadium of lies. It will have absolutely zero impact on the proceedings, so I’m going to pretend it is squid.

Challenger Weiping speedily scores the squid with mathematical consistency. This is hypnotic.

Challenger Weiping then slices the squid perpendicularly on the bias to make frilly slices.

Iron Chef Kenichi does the same but keeps the steak intact. Once it hits heat, this steak will curl into decorative shaggy cylinders.

Iron Chef Kenichi's scored squid steak. He has another three to do. Luckily these will cook in about 30 seconds.

Challenger Weiping signals wok o' clock. It appears to be squid mantle scraps and shiitake's going for a quick blanch. A bit anti-climactic, but admittedly too early for some real wok-tossing.

Iron Chef Kenichi has also utilzed his mantle scraps to form Mt. Ika, the slimiest climb.

The Challenger's cuttlefish, tofu, and shiitakes finish their boil Now he’s got a basket of beige.

Much like the jaws of an alligator, The Iron Chef's arms clamp much stronger than they pry.

The Iron Chef's wheat wrappers are rolled and hand-cut as if they were noodles. These are certain to be deep fried. Sichuan fideos.

The Iron Chef has his mountain of squid scraps in a food processor with some cooking oil. Shrimp meatballs? Squid noodles? Meat glue (transglutiminase) was utilized pre-Wiley Dufresne (ie the Chicken McNugget). I don’t see any being added yet, dashing my hopes for a squid surimi.

Challenger Weiping's sous chef is doing some On-the-Job-Training shadowing his head chef. A lot of looking and pointing, but no touching. A Yorkshire Terrier would be just as effective. "You're doing great. Woof."

Iron Chef Kenichi's squid puree gets hand mixed with some egg whites. From a tactile standpoint, that is the most upsetting sentence ever written.

Challenger Weiping has some aromatics going into a wok, while his sous chef stands by patiently for a treat.

The Challenger's stir fry has carrots, ginger, negi (large scallions), and the first squid steak he scored, sliced, and blanched. Very decorative knife work completed in very little time.

The Iron Chef adds an okara slurry to thicken his hand-mixed squid slime. Nobody wants a thin squid slime. Okara is a by-product starch from soy bean processing.

The Challenger's squid stir fry gets plated atop the requisite strip-mall-restaurant ring-of-broccoli. This looks light enough to be an early course, and won't suffer too much being completed so far in advance. Going family style is a smart move rather than plating five of these individually. Both Chefs will adopt this for their stir-fries.

Iron Chef Kenichi swerves and doesn't use his squid slime for meatballs. Instead it is being lightly simmered with water to form a soup. Not the most visually interesting dish yet, but don’t worry, it only gets less appealing.

Challenger Weiping has onions and cheese (!!!!) going into a wok. Presumably for a Cantonese pretzel beer dip.

The Iron Chef's hand-cut wheat "noodles" are deep fried. You are right to predict a bird's nest for something saucy.

Challenger Weiping has squid going into his cheese (!!!) sauce. We are in uncharted territory. At least he did not stuff squid with cheese to make a katsu (Iron Chef Michiba just woke up in a cold sweat).

The challenger's squid-and-cheese stir fry is plated family style atop a ring of vegetables (of course). This looks decidedly less appetizing than his prior one. The asparagus spears have already begun fleeing the scene. Adding cheese, butter, and asparagus to a dish does not make it “French” any more than a dollop of mayonnaise in a beret.

The Iron Chef's scored squid cylinders are done blanching and are looking like magnificent little sheep holding a meeting.

Challenger Weiping's squid scraps and shiitake soup is fortified with enough cornstarch to float Jinhua ham, bringing his total to three dishes: 1) This soup 2) Light stir fry with broccoli rings 3) Cheese stir fry with asparagus rings.

Iron Chef Kenichi gives a last second "pass-through-oil" to his squid scraps, shiitakes, and celery to prepare it for his finisher... Doubanjian coming.

In his signature move, Iron Chef Kenichi breaks out a few tablespoons of doubanjian into a wok. You know the Iron Chef is not done until kitchen stadium smells of heavenly fermented chili paste. In a moment of inspiration, the Iron Chef added some shiro miso to the chili mixture. Spicy miso. Nice.

You know why I love Iron Chef Chen Kenichi? Interactions like this.
Sous Chef: Here’s some more chili paste, I’ll just spoon it over to …..
Iron Chef Kenichi: *palms it with his bare maws*
Sous Chef: Okay then.

10 seconds later, the Iron Chef’s spicy miso stir fry looks like this. Incredible. This confirms three dishes for the Iron Chef: 1) This chili squid stir fry 2) Sheep conference. The “Baaalta conference?” No? Fine.. 3) Broken soup with squid slime and okara.

The Judges’ Table(s):

J-Pop record producer Yasushi Akimoto (22 battles).
Judge Akimoto has consumed the ink sacs of squid, cuttlefish, octopus, and Haruki Murakami.

Actress Yoko Asaji (3 battles).
Sadly, this is Judge Asaji’s last battle. In addition to squid, she has deliberated on the daikon radish and octopus, giving her the experience necessary to serve on the Supreme Court.

Food historian Masaaki Hirano (42 battles).
Judge Hirano is long winded as the theme ingredient is long limbed-ed. Oh no… That sounds like something Judge Hirano would say. If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

Dishes:

Challenger Weiping completes three dishes.

Challenger Weiping’s first dish:
Thick Squid and Tofu Soup

Thick indeed. You could float a quarter in that. In addition to the cornstarch and egg whites, there are squid scraps, shiitakes, and tofu. The plethora of beige ingredients is topped with some minced Jinhua ham. This is going to be a satisfying thick spoonful, which will get the nod over Iron Chef Kenichi’s broken soup. Good start by Challenger Weiping.

Challenger Weiping’s second dish:
Stir-Fried Broccoli and Squid Coral Reef

The challenger demonstrated exemplary knife skills in cutting the squid and carrots to resemble coral. Add in a heap of aromatics and I can almost excuse the broccoli ring. At least the broccoli is adequately cooked unlike a previous challenger. This is another solid dish by Challenger Weiping. Iron Chef Kenichi has to bring his best.

Challenger Weiping’s third dish:
Butter-fried Squid and Cheese

What a mess. Where to start? Ah right, the cheese.
Chef Weiping tried to stir-fry cheese and this is what happened. I’m not sure what highly-processed cheese he utilized that didn’t split immediately, so I *guess* that is a win.
We have highly irregularly cut squid (scraps from his previous dish and a brief attempt to make cylinders), a pile of cheese and butter, asparagus spears that are being pushed off the plate by the pyroclastic cheese flow, lemon half-moons, and a decorative tomato flower.
Bruce Lee would 3-inch punch this across the stadium. Jackie Chan would parkour over this, and break his foot in the process.

Judge Akimoto details the breached asparagus levees against the flood of dairy. The Red Cross is on the way with Lactaid.

Iron Chef Kenichi completes three dishes:

Iron Chef Kenichi’s first dish:
Flower-cut Squid and Red Sauce

The Iron Chef comes out strong demonstrating his technique. Cutting the squid into chrysanthemum flowers was time consuming but worth it, given squid's quick cook time. I'm not totally against this star of baby corn and pile of boiled mushrooms as they'll dip well in the chili sauce. Matched up with Challenger Weiping's coral reef stir-fry, the advantage has to go to the Iron Chef.

Judges? *crunch, crunch, crunch*
That’s a good sign.

Iron Chef Kenichi’s Second Dish:
Squid Okara Soup

The Iron Chef spent an inordinate amount of time on this curdled soup, but let's hear him out. The squid and egg white puree was thickened not with cornstarch, but with okara (soybean flour). Okay, heard.
The challenger's soup is more appetizing. For one, it is not broken, and secondly Jinhua ham over goji berries any day all day. That should tie things up, but if you know Iron Chef Kenichi, you know his signature finisher. His chili stir-fries knock down judges like bowling pins.

Judge Hirano scolds the Iron Chef, who looks like he is about to cry.

Iron Chef Kenichi’s third dish:
Stir-Fried Squid with Spicy Miso

Well, that's your ball game folks.
The sidekicks are better (fried noodles and seaweed) than any of the challenger's superfluous plate ringing. The star is better (spicy miso squid, shiitakes, and a ton of aromatics) than the challenger's cheesy squid. If the Iron Chef made one mistake, it was serving a soup instead of a second identical one of these.
Judges?

A knowing nod-and-smile from the Iron Chef. He’s got this.

Whose cuisine reigns supreme?!

Iron Chef Kenichi!
The Iron Chef always looks relieved and gracious after victories. Challenger Weiping is happy to have challenged the young master, and appeared to have a blast the entire experience. It was a very fun and expressive duo of chefs battling in Kitchen Stadium today.

Welcome back out of the dog house, Iron Chef Kenichi! Battle “Squid” was a well deserved victory from the underutilized chef, who demonstrated some of the skills that will make him one of the greatest to grace kitchen stadium. Exquisite knife skills (chrysanthemum squid), knowledge (okara starch), and flavor (spicy miso squid) were all on display. I could not be happier we get to enjoy another 16 episodes with Iron Chef Kenichi this season.

The joyous challenger Wang Weiping did not deliver on his reputation. The wok-star was out-wok'd by the Iron Chef and did not utilize his sous chef. Furthermore, the chef to the stars presented a mixed reel: A good dish (coral reef squid), an adequate dish (thick soup), and a clunker (cheesy squid). Just like Rush Hour 1, 2, and 3.

Episode notes:

My favorite dish was the Iron Chef's spicy-miso squid stir-fry. I am going to try to stir fry anything in a combination of shiro miso and doubanjian at next opportunity.
This is the first of two squid battles (we're going to continue ignoring that it was actually cuttlefish), with additional battles for spear squid (1), Pacific flying squid (1), octopus (4), and cuttlefish (2).
The next episode is the third of 1994, and 13th overall - Battle Egg.