Iron Chef #8 - Crab Battle

Challenger Tomitoku Zhou vs Iron Chef Japanese Rokusaburo Michiba
Iron Chef 1993 Episode 8 - Overall episode #008 - December 5th, 1993

This is the exciting boss-fight conclusion of the Iron Chef 1993 Cantonese ladder match!

To recap:
Episode #1 - Challenger Takeshi “the Mincer” Maruyama was defeated by Iron Chef Ishinabe in battle Salmon.
Episode #5 - The Mincer’s mentor, Tomiteru “the Cleaver” Zhou (aka Lil’ Zhou) was defeated by Iron Chef Japanese Michiba in battle Lobster.
Episode #8 - The Cleaver’s mentor, Tomitoku “Big” Zhou challenges Iron Chef Japanese Michiba in battle Crab.

Big Zhou is not happy, and is coming for the Chairman.

The Chairman isn’t afraid. He is bringing fists to a knife fight.

Meet the Challenger:

Tomitoku Zhou

The boss of the Cantonese level of Iron Chef 1993. A henchmen-flanked, cleaver-wielding sentinel thwarting progress to passage ways, treasure chests, walk-in freezers, and princesses.
Big Zhou began working in a Chinese restaurant at age 18. He moved on to a restaurant in the Keio Plaza Hotel in Shinjuku at age 28. At 37, he established himself at the oldest Chinese restaurant in Japan, Haichinro in Yokohama. At age 38, Big Zhou became King of the Koopas in the Mushroom Kingdom.

It is recommended to save before dining at Big Zhou’s.

Challenger Zhou’s Cutscene:

Big Zhou is such a boss, that he doesn’t have a sizzle reel. He has a cutscene.

Did you think Big Zhou had underlings follow him with empty plates just for the intro? Nah. Big Zhou rolls like that *everywhere.*

Showdown:

Challenger Tomitoku Zhou vs Iron Chef Japanese Rokusabura Michiba!

Big Zhou consults Lil’ Zhou (appropriately dressed like a henchman) on which Iron Chef to challenge, like a father asking his son “which one of these kids hit you?” He then extends and holds a point at Iron Chef Michiba, the hanging-on-the-rim dunk of Iron Chef. Iron Chef Michiba is so done with Zhous of all sizes.

Tale of the Tape:

The Chairman’s Fit:

Speaking of the Chairman's fit, I'm glad you asked

Tonight the Chairman is hosting a Murder Mystery Dinner Party. The invitation read “Mystery Dinner Murder Party” which surely was a typo, right?

The Reveal:

The Chairman is excited and the chefs are expressionless. Both Chef Zhou and Iron Chef Michiba are already deep in thought planning how to use the crab shell as a serving vessel.

There are 13 “crab” battles on Iron Chef. This battle will specifically focus on King Crab. They are large, live, and four in number. Let’s see if the chefs adhere to an unwritten rule of Iron Chef and split the four crabs evenly.

The Chairman's Wisdom:

“Third Leg”

I choose to believe this refers to the third section of each crab leg, the merus, which contains the largest contiguous section of crab meat. This part of of the king crab retails for over $100/lbs.

The B-roll is waves lapping off the coast, cooked crab’s merus, uncooked crab’s merus, flaky crab merus meat, and a king crab.

Allez! Cuisine!:

No, I didn’t forget to loop the GIF. Both Chefs are asleep at the wheel, marinating on the Chairman’s wisdom of using the most expensive part of the most expensive ingredient.
Iron Chef Michiba has no excuse. He’s competed on this show twice before and is still acting like a new hire. “Nobody trained me on the allez cuisine procedure. See you at happy hour.”

In the Booth:

Fukui: The Cantonese crew of challengers are trying to secure their first victory to avoid being swept by the Iron Chefs.
Dr. Hattori: Boo! *Waves broom*
Fukui: Right you are, Doc! Boooooo!

The Battle:

Challenger Zhou inspects the crab’s wingspan. Its lateral movement is a known plus. This crab will be very switchable on defense against the pick and roll.

Tokyo police do not own a “Jaws of Life” hydraulic rescue tool. They just call Iron Chef Michiba. However, in Kitchen Stadium are his powerful mitts are the “jaws of death.”

Challenger Zhou segments king crab legs with a cleaver; a trick he once used while dining at Captain George’s buffet. He is no longer permitted at Captain George’s buffet.

Sideline reporter Ohta informs us that this was ruled a catch by replay officials. The crab got way more than two legs in bounds.

Lil Zhou has a few threatening words for Iron Chef Michiba, “It is not he who cleaves first, it is he who cleaves loudest… Ciao to Big Zhou, Medium Zhou, Physically-big-but-not-important Zhou, Macau Zhou, and the whole Wow-Zhou Fam. Word is bond.”

A bleeding Big Zhou extracting king crab merus sections while our favorite sous-chef pretends to be busy.

Iron Chef Michiba’s tradition of writing out his menu in deft calligraphy. Today it reads “Double Triple Bossy Deluxe Krabby Patty, on a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.”

The “Broth of Vigor” is another Iron Chef Michiba trademark. It is a dashi with a laundry basket full of shaved katsuobushi.

It’s Wok o’ Clock for Big Zhou. Hopefully, he learned from Little Zhou’s wok lobster three episodes ago. The judges were not trying to eat anything they had to extract from the shell. I expect similar fussiness today.

Lil’ Zhou is tasked to spy on the Iron Chef’s proceedings. “Act natural. Little will the Chairman know that it is me, Lil’ Zhou, under this clandestine bucket hat.”

Big Zhou’s stir fried king crab in XO sauce is complete with 45-minutes remaining in the battle. Seems premature. Chef Zhou would have to remove the bell pepper garnish to reheat this dish prior to service, so that is not going to happen.

Iron Chef Michiba has crab and grated-yamaimo yuba wraps ready to roll and deep fry. This may be a play on crab rangoon, which itself is a play on crab yangon. Joking aside, the only things crab rangoon plays are diners expecting crab.

Challenger Zhou has a sauce with evaporated milk, ketchup, mayonnaise, and cheap Gilbey’s London dry gin. This is also know as a “Bloody McRonald.” The camera person is disgusted, panning around like “Are you seeing this?”

Welcome to Iron Chef Michiba’s cool technique corner. Today we’re making a sauce in a double-boiler / bain-marie with strained king crab tomalley and miso. The double boiler will both prevent the miso from boiling and the tomalley from curdling.

Iron Chef Michiba has flaked king crab, grated daikon, and herbs stuffing a yuzu. Chef Michiba is still upset he wasn’t chosen for last week’s daikon battle.

Challenger Zhou realizes with 15-minutes remaining that he can and should plate a third dish. He does the expected, and brings out the shark’s fin. A terrible choice not just ethically, but also because Lil’ Zhou did the exact same thing with lobster three episodes ago.

Thankfully one of these chefs is going to serve a minimally adorned crab leg. Iron Chef Michiba plates the legs on his miso-tomalley sauce, which will be hidden by garnishes later. It’s there.

Big Zhou disperses some fresh noodles into a deep fry. This is a crispy bird’s nest bedding for deep-fried crab dunked in the Bloody McRonald sauce.

The last five minutes are deep-fry time for both chefs. Iron Chef Michiba fries his yuba rolls. Challenger Zhou batter-fries king crab leg meat.

That Knife Life:

Please be advised that this episode’s knife life is exclusively live crab butchery. I invite you to skip past this unpleasantness, and move on to the Judges’ Table(s).

Iron Chef Michiba uses a deba knife to transform an angry king crab into an angry curling stone.

Challenger Zhou does the same with a Chinese cleaver. There are no losers in Knife Life today, well, except the king crab which can live 20-30 years in the wild or 20-30 seconds in Kitchen Stadium.

The Judges’ Table(s):

Kimono designer Kiyohiko (4 battles).
Judge Kiyohiko has a list of names of people who use the phrase “take a peek behind the kimono” to indicate a forthcoming divulgence. The list is growing faster than he can prune it.

Actress Mitsuko Ishii (7 battles).
Loves food more than life itself, which can be problematic. Judge Ishii had to be given a restraining order from attending the blowfish episode.

Rosanjin scholar Masaaki Hirano (42 battles).
Don’t mind Judge Hirano. He is still upset that valet wouldn’t park his sedan chair.

Dishes:

Challenger Zhou completes three dishes:

Challenger Zhou’s first dish:
Stir-Fried Crab with XO Sauce

This crab stir-fry looks great, minus the Bolivian flag bell pepper garnish. Unfortunately, this dish was plated with 45-minutes remaining in the competition.
The judges continue not to touch anything in the shell. Lil’ Zhou should’ve passed that tidbit along to Big Zhou.

Challenger Zhou’s second dish:
Crab with Mayonnaise

Batter-fried king crab legs dipped in a concoction of evaporated milk, mayonnaise, ketchup, and gin. These drunken lobster McNuggets were then plated on a crispy nest of deep fried noodles.
This was a surprise hit. Double-Oishi from judges Kiyohiko and Ishii. I hope it was at least Kewpie mayo.

Challenger Zhou’s third dish:
Shark’s Fin with Crab Meat

The challenger, Big Zhou, makes a shark’s fin soup with goji berries and leftover crab on top. You may remember episode #5 (Battle Lobter), when Lil’ Zhou made a shark’s fin soup with goji berries and leftover lobster on top.
All members of Big Zhou’s organization have “shark’s fin x goji berries” tattooed in old English on their biceps above the barb-wire.

Judge Hirano’s ramblings allows judge Ishii to house this dish.

Iron Chef Michiba completes four dishes:

Iron Chef Michiba’s first dish:
Shinjo Crab with Potato

The Iron Chef opens with a suimono course of a clear meatball soup. The meatball is made of crab body-meat and potatoes. The clear broth was derived from the katsuobushi-dashi “Broth of Vigor.” Shiitake mushroom and yuzu peel garnish.
This dish did not receive adequate airtime in regards to its construction. It’s hard to tell because it was one of three dishes involving the chef making crab meatballs.

Iron Chef Michiba’s Second Dish:
Yuzu Crab

Continuing the crab mushed into white-stuff theme, Iron Chef Michiba remixed a cold version of the last dish with grated daikon and uploaded it to yuzu.

Iron Chef Michiba’s third dish:
Deep-Fried Yuba Crab Roll

Iron Chef Michiba, the Rebel, always delivers a sushi or sashimi course. This time he surprises us, presenting it as his third dish of four. Cooked king crab sushi would have been delicious itself. Chef Michiba takes it a step further and makes a farce with the king crab and yamaimo mountain yam, wraps it in yuba, and deep fries the whole roll. Lastly, Michiba delicately carved bell peppers into Japanese maple leaves, and forgoes the yuzu for a sudachi wedge.

Iron Chef Michiba’s fourth dish:
Boiled Crab Legs

I was hoping either chef would have the hubris to serve a perfectly delicious unadorned boiled crab leg. The Iron Chef delivered. There is a hidden sauce made of crab tomalley and miso which I would eat like a soup.

This battle demonstrated a strong performance from the Iron Chef with some surprise hits from the challenger. All these crab soups, str-fries, and force-meats are necessary to show off the chefs’ creativity. I love Michiba ending the meal with a boiled crab leg with sea-butter.

Whose cuisine reigns supreme?!

Iron Chef Michiba secures the victory. The judges were hard to read, as they enthusiastically devoured everything except the challenger’s first dish. The Iron Chef was dominant from start to finish. His time management and organization was demonstrably better than the challenger.

Iron Chef Michiba had a dish mushing crab meat with potatoes, another dish mushing crab meat with mountain yam, and yet another dish mushing crab meat with daikon. No white root vegetable was safe from being used to bind crab. Chef Michiba could argue that it was a theme, but he was too busy trying to mush crab into chickpeas, feta cheese, and ice cream sandwiches.

Challenger Big Zhou made the same mistakes as challenger Lil Zhou in the recent lobster episode. Both Zhous served a shark’s fin soup with crustacean and goji berries. Both Zhous served deep-fried crustacean with noodles and a thick sauce. Both Zhous served a crustacean stir-fry. Both Zhous lost.

In the reaction, it appears challenger Zhou either didn’t hear or didn’t agree with the verdict. File that tidbit away for the near future. We haven’t seen this boss’s final form yet.

Episode notes:

My favorite dish was Iron Chef Michiba’s deep-fried yuba rolls. Sushi meets and upscale crab rangoon. I’m not a convert to the grated yamaimo texture yet, but his roll may convince me.
Though this was the only “crab battle,” there are specific battles with Blue Crabs (2), Horsehair Crab (1), King Crab (2), Rock Crab (1), Shanghai Crab (2), Snow Crab (2), Soft Shelled Crab (1), and Spider Crab (1).
We have not seen the last of Big Zhou. He’ll return in three episodes seeking revenge on Iron Chef Michiba.
Next up, episode #009 - Banana!