Iron Chef #27 - Cabbage Battle

Hiromi Yamada vs Iron Chef Chen Kenichi
Iron Chef 1994 Episode 17 - Overall episode #027 - May 6th, 1994

The world outside Kitchen stadium is changing rapidly. It is the Summer of '94. May 6th to be exact. The Chunnel opens after seven years of construction. OutKast's Southernplayalisticadillacmusik dropped last week. Nelson Mandela will be inaugurated as South Africa's first black president in four days time. A wave of modernity is sweeping through science, technology, the arts, and politics; shining its light of progress into every nook and cranny of our societal English muffin. Everywhere, that is, except Kitchen Stadium, our defiantly primitive crumpet country; proudly draped in seal-skins and furs, huddled around a fire in a limestone cave, and absolutely faded on betel nuts.

The Chairman / Warrior-Priest of the Kitchen Stadium Culture is reminded of the fickleness of existence, of civilization skating on a cleaver's edge from harvest-to-harvest, and specifically of a top Italian-cuisine chef who did an oopsie three years ago, disappearing from the field of cooking.

Meet the Challenger:

Hiromi Yamada

We know the now humbled Chef Yamada is currently reduced to anonymity, but from what heights, and what exactly happened? Let’s start from the beginning.

A young Yamada would have cooked rice ready for his parents when they came home from work. This doesn't make him a prodigy. This makes him a kid with Asian heritage that didn't want no smoke. If you haven't figured out a rice cooker by age 12, maybe steer towards a degree in finance.

Chef Yamada started apprenticing at age 18, becoming head chef of Vis-a-Vis at 25. It was the type of place where you shake the maître d's hand, call the waiters by name, and send back the first bottle of wine because the vintage isn't right. Not because you want to, because you have to.

At age 28, Yamada left for Italy, ascending a germ-green stairway to culinary heaven.

Chef Yamada returned to Tokyo at 30, becoming the head chef of Basta Pasta. Current (1994) Basta Pasta head chef Hiroyuki Kitami was defeated in Episode 20 - Tomato Battle. Chef Yamada hopes to fare better today.

Yamada opened Vinocchio at age 35 with his rec-league team, the Nishiazabu 76ers. It was quite the process, achieving initial success, before ultimately collapsing like a knee with a degenerative condition. Tsunami Papi would have to disappear for reasons that will become clear shortly.

At Vinocchio's peak, Yamada lived in a $2 million home. Did it have to be shaped like spaghetti timbale? No, of course not. But did it have to smell like spaghetti timbale? Non-negotiable.

On October 21st, 1991, Yamada was speeding in his sports car and crashed into a barrier, killing a pedestrian and a passenger, injuring others.
He had to sell everything and remained in debt both financially and to society. He disappeared for two years until he could pay off his debt to the former. The latter is more complicated.
What is the appropriate post-tragedy waiting-period before celebrating redemption? Iron Chef tells us it is 464 days per casualty. Roughly the gestation period of a white rhino.

And when they ask me "where I been at?"
I just be like "over there."
Chef Yamada has been hiding-out as the chef of Popolare, the finest Al Treno dining on the outskirts of Tokyo.

Chef Yamada now resides in a one-room studio. It also smells of spaghetti timbale despite having no cooking appliances.

Challenger Yamada’s Sizzle Reel:

A surf-and-turf carpaccio of beef and shrimp, a dish so revered, it became the flag of Greenland.

Chef Yamada is credited for inventing cold tomato capellini. Pasta alla Checca would beg to disagree. In addition to this dish, Chef Yamada brought germ-green home with him from Italy to make this Nvidia swirl. What does it mean?!

This is not your typical spring risotto filled with the primavera goodness of asparagus and peas. Chef Yamada's "Spring" Risotto is leaden with broccoli (winter vegetable) and tomatoes (summer vegetable / fruit / orb). This is a commentary on climate change.

Showdown

Challenger Yamada is being cheered on by his former apprentice, Hiroyuki Kitami, and his daughter, who presumably lives with Mom and Mom's friend: Head Chef Hiroyuki Kitami.

The challenger wisely wants to move on from the past and get this battle started as quickly as possible, selecting Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi with barely a pause.

Title Card

Challenger Hiromi Yamada vs Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi!

The Chairman’s Fit:

Speaking of the Chairman's fit, I'm glad you asked

Today the Chairman is Ted, a Buryat shaman who, possessed by a megalomaniacal sheep spirit, rises to command "Death Spiral" the FSB's elite team of figure skating assassins in Siberia. His lacquer vest cannot be removed, for it is the physical manifestation of his covenant with the supernatural Hype-Beast.

The Reveal:

The Chairman hits us with the English when we least expect it. Fun Fact: The Chairman speaks no English, but is fluent in screaming English, Japanese, and Sumerian; the latter reserved for screaming in private.

The down-on-his-luck challenger is tickled by the hands of fate. A man clawing his way up from rock-bottom is dealt cabbage; an inglorious food synonymous with impoverishment. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, Chef Yamada contorts his facial muscles into what can only be described as "Of course its cabbage" amusement. Meanwhile, Iron Chef Kenichi is Charlie Brown lining up for a field goal attempt, per usual.

Amazing choice. The humble green cabbage. So humble, we're almost ashamed of it. We wouldn't serve it to guests without an explanation bordering on an apology. "It's a traditional dish from...," "I lacto-fermented it in my garage...", "It was a hard winter..."

This is not the red cabbage that transforms a $4 street taco into a $5 street taco. This is green cabbage. The specific paleness of green, when seen on a KPI spreadsheet, indicates you have successfully blocked Balatro at the corporate firewall. This is the cheapest produce in your market, despite costing over $8,000 per acre to grow. That good old crunchy water. Did I mention it smells bad when cooked?

Nonetheless the cabbage is an important food in human developmental history, in a way that more celebrated ingredients like foie gras never were. In many parts of the world, it has been the only green available in winter. This is crucial for any society that intended to remain one. The advent of preservation meant that cabbage could be stored for weeks (sauerkraut, curtido, Korean baechu kimchi, Japanese kimuchi, northern Chinese suan cai), months (Tianjin don cai, that good kimchi), or years (that mugeunji kimchi).

Pro tip: Washington DC Restaurant Anju used to do Kimchi "Flights" of three ages. I believe it is now "off menu." Worth inquiring about. The 100-day is a certifiable Michiba banger.

We take cabbage for granted, but things get downright crazy when we don't have it. A December freeze in the south and a drought in the Midwest led to a shortage in the cabbage crop in March 1984.
Leading up to St. Patrick's day, cabbage prices increased from 19-cents a pound to 99-cents. An average that wouldn't be reached again until 2019, 35-years of inflation later.
This spike also coincided with peak Cabbage Patch Kids, and the ensuing Cabbage Patch Riots in which parents participated in a Bloodsport-style tournament at Toys R Us locations across the nation, creating Black Friday. Such is the dark and mysterious allure of the cabbage.

The Chairman’s Wisdom

"Eat the first eight layers"

The 9th layer of cabbage is called "Judecca" and is reserved for those who committed treachery or betrayal.

1) Fields of cabbage stretching into the horizon. The eternal cabbage patch prophesized by the first Lord Brassicus, Xavier Roberts.
2) The heart of a cabbage. To "have the heart of a cabbage" is a tremendous compliment. It means you are imbued with toughness, perseverance, and a distinct lack of taste. Fellow cabbage-hearts include Imelda Marcos and Craig Sager.
3) Raw slaw smells blah. Y'all done up and done it.
Profound.

Allez! Cuisine!

Challenger Yamada blazes through the gates, because he knows the real secret-ingredient is absolution.

In the Booth

Dr. Yukio Hattori returns to the booth after last week's unpleasant outburst, joined by play-by-play commentator Kenji Fukui and Judge / actress / maven Mayuko Takata.
Fukui: The humble cabbage. You practically can't give it away.
Takata: Actually, South Korea imports 11 times more kimchi than it exports, at a $47 million trade deficit.
Hattori: Why do we keep inviting her to make us look bad?
Fukui: I apologize, Doc. You've been away. It is actually Takata-san that is now inviting us.
Takata: Importsssssssss

The Battle

The cabbage featured today is from the Miura Peninsula, where the men toil the land to the compositions of Chopin, the womenfolk return from market with bundles of wloszczyzna, the wee ones dream of a clementine in their Christmas stocking, and Witchers stalk Koajiro Forest eliminating occult threats.

Dr. Hattori: Cabbage is not all that interesting.
*drops mic*
*goes home*

1. Start a company called "Collective Bargaining Agreement"
2. Sell aprons embroidered "Second Apron"
3. Profit.
You've done it again, Kenny!

Challenger Yamada is blanching much cabbage for wraps or rolls. Cavolo ripieno, an Italian dish of stuffed cabbage rolls in tomato sauce, is a comfort classic. Chef Yamada will have to make it more interesting or Dr. Hattori is going to keep his attention focused on the 1994 version of TikTok (Pok-a-Tok).

The Iron Chef does the same. Hold on to your seats, we are in a cabbage blanching battle.

Sideline reporter Shinichiro Ohta has tallied clams, scallops, tilefish, foie gras, celery root, and cherry tomatoes on the challenger's counter. This may seem like a deceptively high animal to not-animal ratio of ingredients, but keep in mind we are getting cabbage with every dish (and more than likely, as a physical dish).

It is Wok o' Clock in record time, as Iron Chef Kenichi begins stir frying some doubanjiang. A little cabbage, a little protein, and some rice wine will complete this dish satisfactorily. The question remains: why so early?

Chef Yamada wisely begins preparing his celery root early. A strategy not heeded by Dr. Hattori in his failed coup d'etat last episode. The Doc's celery root is still boiling away in milk aspiring to one day be something greater than the fourth most interesting part of a celery plant (stalk, leaves, seeds, then root. Come at me.).

The Iron Chef added cabbage and red mullet to the doubanjiang and blesses it with wok hei. Again, why so early? This may be a snack before the Iron Chef cooks the real dishes.

The challenger dumps uncooked arborio rice into saffron, buffer, and stock, to which Judge Takata remarks with confidence and familiarity "Oh, he's making butter rice!" He's actually making risotto, but I am very curious about Judge Takata's famous weeknight one-pot crispy butter rice. I'll chalk it up to a mistranslation, because Judge Takata is never wrong.

Iron Chef Kenichi's stir-fry becomes a braise with the addition of tomatoes, ginger, garlic, and water. Though a braise takes longer than a stir fry, the red mullet cooks quickly, begging the question: why so early?
*Update from Sideline reporter Ohta*: San-en NeoPhoenix is taking on the Yokohama Corsairs in 45 minutes, and the Iron Chef (aka McNasty) is starting at power forward for the former, two technical fouls away from owning the league record. It will be this, and not his kitchen antics that will secure his title as beef brother number one. He must be in a hurry to whip off these warmups.

Challenger Yamada boils his celery root in milk for a puree, the second occurrence of this technique in as many episodes. This is diminishing returns of *The Walking Dead* proportions. In the course of making these two posts, I've watched celery root boiling in milk for at least a combined 10 minutes. I'm going snow blind, but with beige. Everywhere I look it's like a page out of the Magnolia Journal.

The Challenger has buckwheat, eggs, and a pasta machine. No, it is not soba, but likely a northern-Italian dish Pizzoccheri that shares the buckwheat soul of soba. This is a brilliant approach by Chef Yamada. Genuine judge juice.

The Iron Chef deftly wields his 1.5 lbs all-purpose tou as if he was Clyde Stubblefield with a 7A-drumstick to paradiddle through a cabbage. He's as strong as he is funky.

Challenger Yamada too shows off kitchen strength in mixing his pasta. Kitchen Strength is not correlated to muscles (extrakitchen strength). It is a metaphysical property bestowed upon one member of each household that for reasons unknown, is the resident with the loudest sneeze. For example, Muscle-Chef Robert Irvine asks his wife to open his water bottles. Yet the diminutive Cat Cora can twirl a cast iron skillet in each hand like an aircraft marshaller. The Kitchen Strength leaderboard, updated real-time, is as follows: 3) You 2) Your Dad 1) The Chairman.

Dr. Hattori: Whenever I go to [Challenger Yamada's] restaurant, he always cooks one serving at a time.
This is an oddly inefficient process for a professional kitchen, even one as small as *Popolare*.

The Challenger's apprentice and daughter discerningly observe the proceedings from above, exchanging isochronal "quite"s and "indeed"s interspersed with pinches from a Qing-dynasty snuff bottle.

Kitchen Stadium's funky drummer does the funky chicken and we are all funkier for it.

Challenger Yamada slices steaks of foie gras to be wrapped with cabbage. Could this be the elevated cavolo ripieno? There are still clams, scallops, and tilefish left on the challenger's ark. At least one of these surfers are going to meet this turf.

Iron Chef Kenichi puts a blanched cabbage leaf atop marinated chicken recreating a 1:1,288 scale model of Kyocera Dome Osaka (check my math, pointdexter). When the cabbage roof is retracted, chicken offal depicts the Orix Buffaloes being thoroughly waxed by the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters, as Chef Kenichi (aka McNasty) secures the league title for most mounds charged. It remains one of his proudest moments.

Both chefs are approaching this battle as if they only had 20 minutes. The Iron Chef already knocked out a stir fry. The hasty challenger sets to searing scallops in a cold pan. The second biggest mistake he ever made.

The Iron Chef has a food processor filled with prawns, cabbage, and egg whites. Do you know what this means? Funky dumplings!

Prior to being golabki'd, the foie gras was dusted with flour and pan fried by challenger Yamada.
Gołabki, the iconic Polish cabbage roll means “little doves." This is more of a chorobliwie otyła kaczka (morbidly obese duck).

Not done gilding the lily, the challenger tops the foie gras with a seared sea scallop. Well, seared on the presentation side. The only side that matters. These Surf-to-Air missiles are not going to be steamed, but roasted! Cabbage rolls can be browned in the oven to avoid resembling a swampy gym-sock filled with pennies.

Admit it. You want this.
(*A Polish Country House Kitchen* by Anne Applebaum and Daniella Crittenden. Chronicle Books. 2012. - The best Polish cookbook written by a Pulitzer prize winning historian).

Iron Chef Kenichi's funky dumplings consist of a whole cherry (pit included) wrapped in a shrimp and cabbage farce, and steamed in plastic wrap. Like Sly and the Family (Cherry)Stone, this funk is ahead of its time. Far in the future, when humanoids have evolved a utilitarian probiscis in place of meddlesome degradable teeth, these are going to be more popular than Ferrero Rochers.

The wild Iron Chef is spotted in his natural habitat enjoying a quick snack of cabbage dressed in caviar before a long day of golf course civil engineering.

Challenger Yamada's cabbage rolls are indeed going to be roasted, but first they are anointed with a cube of butter on the forehead, just like Pope Clement IV in 1265 CE.
Pope Clement was known as Guy le Gros, which in English is "Guy the Fat." Guy the Fat goes pretty hard for a combination rap name and a chef name. Currently, only Paul Hollywood occupies that particular overlap on the Venn diagram I have meticulously scrawled on a floor-to-ceiling whiteboard.

The Iron Chef steps up to the mound and pitches farce like a man possessed. Possessed by that funk.

Iron Chef Kenichi already has a blender prawn farce surrounding a cherry dumpling. This splatted pork farce will be wrapped in a cabbage leaf. Two playful cabbage dumplings by the Iron Chef Chinese, who will likely close with his now room-temperature red mullet stir fry. Two dumplings vs Two cabbage rolls.

Challenger Yamada's "tilefish" (probably also red mullet) fillets were patiently waiting for their big moment. They are also to be wrapped in a cabbage leaf. A somewhat anticlimactic finish for the red mullet, which is relegated to the "B" cabbage roll.
"That's almost the same. That's not very interesting." remarks Judge Takata, before also dropping the mic and going home. It's okay, Kenji Fukui has dreamed of this moment every night for the past 26 weeks. Go get em, K. Dot.

The Iron Chef's bear paws demonstrate the delicate task of wrapping a purse of cabbage with separate strand of cabbage. There’s no way he’s going to do the rest of these himself. If you want delicacy, call a sous chef. If you want a wine cork plunged into a bottle with an index finger, call the Iron Chef in Velcro shoes.

Truffle Alert! The challenger shovels some truffles atop his red mullet; an act more entertaining were he Ziggy Stardust.
If you are observing Kitchen Stadium customs, truffle and caviar have been utilized, so you are now permitted to sit down for the remainder of the match. Pelting the challenger with shouts referencing his sauces as “weak” remains encouraged until the two-minute warning.

Challenger Yamada's buckwheat pasta is being rolled out with 20 minutes remaining. The current odds on pasta shapes at the Chairman's 1F Pachinko Parlor, *Orfanotrofio*, is:
Fettucine: 4/1
Pappardelle: 8/1
Ravioli: 10/1
Busiate (telephone cord): 100/1
Mobius Strip: 1/0

The answer is knife-cut pappardelle, expertly sliced like a soba master. As long as there is a cabbage in the same area code as these noodles, this is a winning dish. Would it be too much to ask for pancetta or prosciutto?

The Iron Chef's sous chefs thought he was crazy when they read "steamed chicken dome" in his notes. Yet here we are steaming half a head of cabbage atop a savagely chopped chicken. Iron Chef Kenichi away-from-the-wok heat checks remain something to behold, at a respectable distance.

With 15 minutes remaining, the Challenger finishes his gilded saffron risotto in the pan. If you had to guess whether this saffron risotto would go under the good cabbage roll or the less good cabbage roll, what would be your choice? Elevate the good cabbage roll to the stratosphere, or bring the less good cabbage roll up to sea level? The former seems to be Challenger Yamada’s style. Go big or go tiny home.

The Iron Chef deep fries his cabbage, cherry, shrimp dumplings! Afterwards, he then stir-fries them in chili sauce! These double-fried dumplings will feature the variegated textures of a crispy exterior, bouncy farce, melting cherry, and rock hard pit that will keep you coming back to Dr. Kenichi's backroom dental practice *Chen's Grillz* (located behind *Chen's Grill*).

DJ Yamada is mashing up risotto and fettucine on the ones and twos. Like all mashups, it sounds like trash. Fortunately, it will taste great and the ambidextrous challenger is going to keep these carbs separate all the way to judges' table.

Judge Kitajima and Dr. Hattori return from *Orfanotrofio* in a spirited mood.
Dr. Hattori: H-hey Kenji, did you enjoy watching milk boil? I bet you did, dingus.
Judge Kitajima: I bet.. I bet you stood on your tippie-toes to see that cabbage blanching!
Dr. Hattori: I could end you right now.
Kenji Fukui and Dr. Hattori simultaneously: What?!
...
Judge Kitajima: *hiccups*

The Challenger's zooms past risotto road, then past paella place, ultimately arriving at a dead-end of scorched-rice galette. A saffron-infused cơm cháy meets the best part of a dolsot bibimbap. Whatever this is called, it cannot be bad. Consider that a foie gras cabbage roll is going to sit atop this like a proud nesting goose that is only minutely suffering the effects of induced liver disease. Like the soba-fettucine, this is another dish composed of Italian classic combinations, but with a nod to Asian cuisine.

Speaking of the soba-fettucine, Challenger Yamada tosses it in pancetta, butter, onions, and cabbage. I repeat: This is a winning dish.

The challenger knows how to utilize his culinary student sous chefs, doling out the painstaking but idiot-proof tasks of scoring, blanching, and peeling of cherry tomatoes. It could be worse, the other sous chef is cleaning out Challenger Yamada's storage unit. The rats have breached the timbale. It's freaking pandemonium.

The Iron Chef's chicken dome has finished steaming with a minute remaining in the battle, and emerges looking like a UFO (Unidentified Floating Obstruction). It is dawning on me all too late that this may not have been the Iron Chef's strongest outing today. The challenger's duo of cabbage rolls and soba-pappardelle is looking like trouble for our recently struggling Iron Chef, who has two losses in his past four battles.

The Judges’ Table(s):

Today’s battle is the first of the 200-Club, wherein the total of battle experience of the judges exceeds 200 episodes. It is a rare treat (probably). A Judgemental Eclipse negging over us today. Todays squad of grizzled veterans have been battle tested on 205 occasions.

Lower House Member, writer Shinichiro Kurimoto (109 battles)
The ever-prepared congressman and economic anthropologist read Kim Il Sung's *Theses on Socialist Rural Question in Our Country* last night and has not slept a wink. Was the irrigation system worth it?! Cabbage needs but an inch of water a week. Now, if I were Supreme Leader...

Actress Mayuko Takata (54 battles)
Judge Takata's 1992 single "Let me see your cabbage roll" was played at your wedding reception.

Rosanjin scholar Masaaki Hirano (42 battles)
Judge Hirano is what happens when a cabbage patch kid is allowed to age for a century in a Trappist monastery's cheese cave.

Dishes

Challenger Yamada completes four dishes:

Challenger Yamada’s first dish:
Cabbage and Anchovy Fondue

A raw unmarinated cabbage is a risky first dish. That's how confident the challenger is in his bagna cauda inspired fondue. I'd pluck a raw cabbage out of the ground and dunk it into that anchovy-cheese sauce like Michael Jordan in Trieste. The collateral damage would be comparable.

Judges Kurimoto and Hirano lost in the sauce. Judge Takata?

Challenger Yamada’s second dish:
Soba Pasta, Cabbage, and Truffles

Like anchovies, buckwheat is also used in both Italian and Japanese cuisine. The knowledgeable challenger hand-made pappardelle with a buckwheat-blend typically reserved for soba noodles. The pasta was tossed with cabbage, butter, and pancetta in a clam sauce.
After plating it received a crown of truffles, royal robes of prosciutto, remaining one scepter short of being Charles III; the last of Charlemagne's line of Italian rulers, who apart from letting the Vikings into Paris, was better known as Charles the Fat.
Just like that we've already crossed off two of the twenty-eight absolute legends on Wikipedia's List of people known as the Fat. They'll all get their due shine. I vow this.

Resident psychonaut Judge Kurimoto "can feel the energy of the soil where this cabbage came from." A totally normal thing to say about a dish that is generously 5% cabbage.

Judge Hirano complains he got a bad batch, but is nonetheless endlessly repeating incantations concerning "the path of the jaguar".

*Snaps Out of Trance*
"In the middle of Little Italy, little did we know that we riddled two middlemen who didn't do diddly"
*Snaps back Into Trance*

Challenger Yamada’s third dish:
Steamed Tilefish and Celery Root

The challenger's first of two cabbage rolls. This one features “tilefish” (red mullet) in a celery root puree, wrapped with cabbage, and steamed. This is neither explicitly Italian nor Japanese. The addition of caviar with balsamic tomatoes on top only lessens the focus. This is the bleary eyed result of a chef who had an idea for a good cabbage roll and a great cabbage roll, and decided to hedge his bets and rush both.

"It feels like the cabbage is still alive" exclaims Judge / Space Cadet Kurimoto. Yeah, he's going to need a sitter.

At this point in his journey, Judge Hirano is thankfully rendered speechless.

Challenger Yamada’s fourth dish:
Grilled Foie Gras and Scallops in Cabbage

Sound the air raid sirens! These surf-to-air missiles are coming in hot. A stunning diaphanous cabbage leaf melting into the foie gras and scallops underneath. This rich bundle is served atop an equally rich butter and saffron crispy risotto. Another belt-loosening, jaw-unhinging-like-a-python dish from the challenger today. The only downside was the erroneous attempt to sear scallops in a cold pan. He was rushing and knew he could hide the results under a blanket of cabbage and duck liver. The dish is no worse off for the shortcut. Suffix the dish with “à l'unilatérale” on the menu and charge $5 more.

The delirious Judge Kurimoto explains this dish is "kind of like a coalition government trying to convince the Socialist Party to stay with the coalition to maintain the flavor of reform." No. No it is not. Go to bed, Judge Kurimoto. You have to pass laws tomorrow.
Furthermore, we all know Ben & Jerry's limited edition "Justice ReMix'd" is the true flavor of reform: Corporate. Today cinnamon and chocolate ice cream swirled with cinnamon bun dough and spicy fudge brownies, tomorrow filing the 10-Q report with the SEC.

Iron Chef Kenichi completes four dishes:

Iron Chef Kenichi’s first dish:
Cabbage Appetizer with Spicy Sauce

A ladle of intentionally cold stir-fried mullet in doubanjiang atop a folded leaf of cabbage. I'd call it a Sichuan Larb, were it not insulting to both Sichuan cuisine and Larb. This was not only the Iron Chef's first dish served, but the first dish he worked on. The dish was produced with intent. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this concoction was premeditated merger.

Iron Chef Michiba’s Second Dish:
Chicken in Cabbage Soup

Leave it to Iron Chef Kenichi to find the most unhinged way to serve a chicken and cabbage soup. He started by putting half a head of cabbage atop a rough chopped chicken, and well, that was it. Rustic. No toilet paper in the woods rustic. It steamed and voila another dish in which little consideration was given to the eating of the cabbage.

The Iron Chef's chance of victory appears to be sunk.

Iron Chef Kenichi’s third dish:
Cabbage and Cherry Dumpling

Down, but not out, Chef Kenichi is the rose that grew from concrete. He gets in touch with his artistic side, Chaka Chen, and makes a grass of cabbage and caviar, leaves of cucumbers and bell peppers, and finally a dumpling flower that was steamed, deep fried, and then stir fried to golden perfection. The dumpling consists of cabbage and seafood around a cherry.
It is hard to believe the same chef made the previous rustic chicken soup. The Iron Chef's personalities are wrestling for control of the steering wheel, and the judges are captive passengers desperately jabbing the rideshare app's SOS button.
Speaking of, the judges surprisingly have no comment, except for Judge Takata who says she would have eaten this dish even without the cherry. This is Judge Takata's heightened etiquette talking, because what she really meant was "why the cherry tho?"

Iron Chef Michiba’s fourth dish:
Steamed Cabbage Dumpling

This, the Iron Chef's best dish was a result of his two personality extremes working together. Warrior-Kenichi starting things off by hurling pork and cabbage into a stainless steel bowl until they became one. Rougue-Kenichi then made a pork dumpling with a cabbage leaf, tying it together with a strand of cabbage. Lastly, Necromancer-Kenichi brought his chances of victory back from the dead. Our challenger has a stronger case, but the Iron Chef has home court advantage.

Judge Yamada "I really couldn't recognize what the cabbage was doing in this one."

Whose cuisine reigns supreme?!

Before announcing the winner, the Chairman takes a moment to shade Challenger Yamada.

..who then wins! Challenger Yamada defeats the Iron Chef!

Touché Yamada. You *can* serially cook one serving at a time if you are moving at 160 kmh.

Challenger Yamada's victory today wasn't all that close despite the slumping Iron Chef Kenichi having the most artistic dish (flower dumpling) and best use of cabbage (cabbage dumpling wrapped with cabbage and tied with cabbage). It was the flourishes of Japanese-Italian ingredients in his first two courses that had the judges absolutely fiending more so than the extravagant setup-up and closer cabbage-rolls. Iron Chef Kenichi, meanwhile, drops to 2-3 in his last five battles, finding himself in a funk (not the good kind).
This win is but a rung on Chef Hiromi Yamada's redemption ladder. Apart from re-establishing himself as an elite Italian chef to an international audience (and in front of his daughter), he would open a second successful restaurant, reclaim executive chef status, and even cook for Italian Prime Minister Giuliano Amato at the 2000 Okinawa summit.

Clarence Birdseye was a fur trapper who had previously worked as a biologist for the US Department of Agriculture. From 1912-1915, Birdseye found he could quickly freeze cabbage by plunging it into barrels of salt water. By 1929, he developed a new method for quick-freezing food, using metal plates chilled in calcium chloride solution to -45 degrees F. In 1929, he sold his company and patents for $22 million to Goldman Sachs and the Postum company.
“nothing very remarkable about what I have done . . . the Eskimos had [frozen foods] for centuries.”
The next time you are in your supermarket frozen foods aisle, doth thy cap to the three Kings of Cabbage: Clarence Birdseye, Xavier Roberts, and Hiromi Yamada for turning cabbage into gold.

Episode notes:

My favorite dish today was Challenger Yamada's soba pappardelle in clam sauce with pancetta and prosciutto... and cabbage, I guess. This dish made me want to buy a pasta/noodle machine and use it upwards of twice a year.

This is the first of two cabbage battles, with another three for Chinese (Napa) Cabbage, and one Shanghai Cabbage.
The next episode is the eighteenth of 1994, and 28th overall, the bonito battle.
Chef Yamada will be back later this season in another battle, not with an Iron Chef, but the heel of all heels, Toshiro Kandagawa! Things are going to get crazy in Kitchen Stadium.